Where we are
It is ironical that as we become more sophisticated and we advanced in science and technology, there is more trouble plaguing us before we reach this height in sophistication. The one area we are plagued with trouble is our family.
The family life of many people in the world over is saddening and it leaves so many bad taste in our mouth.Many of our family is breaking down at a rapid state and there is nothing we can do or anybody can do about it.Many heartbreaks, tension, pressures from one spouse to the other even the children are not left out, because of the many separation happening in our homes.
The United States ranked high among other nations in divorce rate and it is not showing any signs of declining in the nearest future.Many homes has become a shadow of their true self.You have many tongue wagging at each other by couples,beating and different acts of family violence is taking place.
Why all this?
New Definition of Love
This basic reason is that many of don't realized that for every effect there has to be a cause. It is a fundamental principle many of us fail to realize.Most of our marriages are not marriage in the first place.This is because there is no love in the first place in such marriage.
There is an order that God our creator has put in place for the creation of family. That order id love first then comes marriage and the last is sex. But what do we have,we have placed lust for love and sex before marriage is the order of the day.It is no surprise we are reaping the fruits of what we have sown.
It is unfortunate that many of us think we know what love is and yet we are have not even scratch the surface of what love is.The love we know is just a mere emotion.That is what many of us take love to be and the end of love. But that is far from the truth.
The English language of the word love does not enable many of us to really grasp the full understanding if love and that love comes in different dimensions.The Greek know better and they do understand love from 3 different perspectives.
The first one is eros.Which is purely love on the emotional and sensuous level.It is romance, foreplay and sex that goes with love.This what most of us know love to be. Especially during our teenage years or per teens years,we feel goose pimple allover our body at the sight of a dashing lady. If the lady accept out love for friendship, we begin to see our self floating in the air.Our feeling intoxicates us and we could barely sleep simply because we are now in love.In no time we begin to date,go out together and before you know it there we are in the dark corner of the street or in the car,necking and kissing takes center stage.We then believe that we really are lovebirds.Unfortunately,we have been in lust all the while.
Love is not for the inexperienced or immature. Love needs maturity.It is far beyond feelings or emotions.It is a commitment and reasonable decision to give yourself compeltely to your mate.It is not a trial and error thing at all. But what we do is especially teenagers, is to test many ladies and we never get satisfied with any of them.
The eros is good and it is a necessary level as climb the ladder of love.But we need to grow or move beyond eros.After you are ready for true love and you propose to a lady, the first thing is the attractive between you two.That where eros is necessary.Without which you can not really define if you are in love.However, don't remain at the erotic level too long, move your relationship to the next level which is philia.
This Greek word Philia means friendship, companionship and togetherness.It is feeling of wanting to share your time with other people.So, when you are in love, you move move from eros to philia. You must begin to want to stick together and really know each other.friendship has to come in. This is really lacking in most marriages and that is the cause for many divorces in many homes.Most men or women hardly speak to their wife or husband.They barely have time to talk together, share their happiness, sadness and enjoy each other company.You love has to be philia for you to have a lasting marriage.
The last one is Agape. It is a divine dimension of love.It is the kind of love God expresses by giving us his only son to die in our place.It is not natural unlike the other kind of love that are natural.It is given from God.Everyone has to seek God and yield to him to have this kind of agape.This love goes beyond emotions and friendship. It is the willingness to even die for your mate or spouse.No matter what he or she has done, you are willing to go the whole hog to make things work out between you two.It is not y any effort of man can agape be seen in any marriage.God through his son Jesus is the giver of agape.The home that matures in love to this point is the home that lives in peace joy and prosperity.
The Place of Sex
Before i conclude,I need to let you know that is after you have gone through this 3 dimensional love that your marriage can work. Sex is not a stop gap to ailing marriage.Some would sex that premarital sex help you to know each other better. that is far from the truth. It carries more emotional pain and bitterness that you can imagine.The God ordained order is that love comes first,then you marry the person you are willing and ready to live and die for before you can enjoy the best of sex together.I might sound old fashioned, but i don't care so far i am saying the truth. Sex has done more harm than good to our marriage culture.
So, stay away from sex if you are not yet married and if you are, don't cause unnecessary pain by having extra marital affairs.Live faithfully with the wife of your youth. If you enjoy this, do share.